So Near… Yet…Blah Blah…

Hello reader,

Following up from my last post “Send me some of that positive vibe!” I can conclude to you…. *drum roll* …

…I didn’t get the job.

*insert car crash sound here*

I felt rather unpleasant with myself last night. Filled with failure, regret and feelings of inadequacy….

However this morning I’m revived by the rejuvenating night of sleep. And feel like saying a huge – well, F*** YOU WORLD!

I didn’t get the job because of the huge amount of applicants and some of those were teachers. HEY! You teachers, stick to your own job – teaching. And let us teaching assistants come in and do ours. There’s an order, a hierarchy – if you will – to schools. Stop over stepping the boundaries! This really makes me annoyed. But I will say no more. Since I know it’s hard for new teachers to get jobs in being a teacher (Like, wtf is wrong with the world!? Oh yeah, everything.)

All I can say is that I gave it my all, got some really positive feedback. The children loved me, and as far as the activity was concerned, it was a roaring success. Just someone else had more experience or was just better than me. Story of my life.

I won’t give up trying to pursue my dreams. I’ve still got my volunteering at a school which will help. Although it’s a real shame that all my previous experience in childcare and my qualification, can’t seem to get me a paid job in school. Something is wrong here.

I had to do a test in Maths and English…. I was not prepared. Had that sinking feeling of “Oh @&%$” I had 20 minutes…. I did not complete all of it. But the kind lady said the tests didn’t matter so much. Needless to say I’m currently brushing up on all my skills in maths, english and science – KS1 and KS2 … You think I’d know it all. I thought I did too. Nope. Not a chance. It was years ago!

Reader, I went though a struggle last night, but I have turned a corner and have released a new strength in me this morning. Finding strength to continue when things are really tough can be gruelling, back-breaking and difficult. But If you keep pushing, keep fighting and muster your strength up you can continue with the right attitude and a strong will. You will get to where you want to be, or where you are meant to be.You can do it.

“You have come this far, don’t give up now.” – The Notebook.

Thanks for reading,

Until the next time!


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Lou-Lou Belle

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