Of Tea and Muffins

Hello again reader, and friend/s (just incase)

The events of this week are as follows:

1) Wake up

2) Go to work + work butt off

3) Go home

4) Eat and get ready for the day ahead

5) Sleep

*Repeat until Friday night.

– Ah, the working.

Working, is great. People get bored of their job, I don’t. Probably never will. The only part of the job I don’t like is not being able to be at home. Haha, sounds lazy I know. But when you aren’t working, you get to do everything you want to do. There is no schedule – except eating and sleeping. Even then you can decide. However I have found at work that I can have a cuppa tea whenever I want. So… It’s not all that bad.

After trying desperately to get a job, and it being the job I’ve always wanted, sure the pay isn’t fantastic but what you get out of it is good. Thus, it’s worth it in the end.

Yet it’s nice to have a moment to relax and to come online and just waffle on about nothing in particular. These brief moments is something I miss in my working week especially. Even on the weekends I don’t seem to stop. I ask – where’s my “me” time?!”

It’s good, if I’m honest to keep busy and get things done. It just makes these moments even more special and I’m glad I get to share it with you.

It’s 3:45pm, when I last looked at the clock it was 1pm. This shows how busy I have been, on a weekend as well. I always seem to find myself helping other people with their endeavours…I don’t know about you reader, but it’s nice to do someone an unexpected kindness every once in a while. My dad is now looking for a new job. He’s not the spring chicken he once was so I offered to help him out. It just takes some of the stress off of him. I never once thought when I was younger that I’d be helping my father out with something like this, or anything at all for that matter. (Another story.) Just goes to show you what forgiveness can do and also what growing up can do to a person.

It doesn’t take a lot, to do something kind for someone else like this. Even if you don’t know them. If they look like they are having a hard time or even struggling with their shopping. It’s kind to lend a hand if you can. Worst case scenario – they say no. But that’s okay, at least you’ve checked and don’t need to worry about them. Maybe you don’t worry anyway because you don’t notice? Step back and take a look at what’s going on around you. There’s a bigger picture to see, and you might be able to do something good. Not only will helping them make them happy, but it will make you feel good too! The plus side being, it’s not like having to work or do a chore to help someone who needs it. It’s actually a stress relief.

Back to the point, it’s good to have a little bit of “me” time. Don’t you think? During the week I get so little of it. As people are either calling or coming to me and asking me for help, advice or just to hang out. I wouldn’t change it for the world. Despite this though, I can’t help but enjoy a cup of tea and a blueberry muffin all to myself, on my own, watching something good on my laptop that I’m interested in at the moment. (At the moment, it’s re-watching Black Books – lovin’ it!) Curling up in my many blankets and just relaxing for an hour. It’s just… nice. No stress, no worries just me and whatever I feel like doing. Might even be reading a book. (I’m tackling the Morganville Vampire series by Rachel Caine at the moment. Onto the second book! – I don’t mean to advertise but if you are interested in that kind of book, I recommend it! Go check it out!)

If you don’t get any “me” time, ask yourself “why not?” It’s good for you and your mind to have that time for yourself. You shouldn’t feel bad for wanting time alone. Or even if you don’t like to be on your own for a while it’s good to try it. It gives you that balance back, leaves you alone with your thoughts. You can work things out in your mind, look through things properly without being interrupted. Also it let’s you do what YOU want to do without having to go along with someone else’s schedule.

It’s tough if you have a family of your own to make time, but it’s not impossible. Take turns with the children, your other half or if you are on your own – a trustworthy adult will be able to look after your children for an hour or two while you relax your stress from the week away. It’s healthy for body, mind and soul for you to take an opportunity to do it, so why not?!

Also if you have a partner and you live together, again it’s not impossible to have time alone. In fact both individuals should have some time alone to themselves once in a while. I personally – you may disagree – think it’s unhealthy to be in each others “pockets” 24/7. Being at work, doesn’t count! I’m talking about complete alone time. No ifs or buts on this one.

So from this moment on, I would like you dear reader, to liberate yourself if you aren’t doing so already to take an hour or two back for yourself. Claim it, own it, it is yours to do whatever you see fit! Been busy all week? Take time to relax. Or go for a walk or bike ride. Let your mind relax and not worry about anything for a while. Re-charge that mind of yours!

Drink some tea… eat a muffin. It’s all good to me.

Thanks for reading

Until the next time ~

Picture from – http://www.adagio.com/images2/custom_blends/305.jpg (such a tasty picture, kudos to the person who took this)


Of Spirituality and Other Beliefs

Hello reader,

I wasn’t sure what I could possibly write about today, but I decided on something “spiritual” related. I could’ve chosen to write about my first day at work, that feels too easy… maybe I will write about my first week at work on Friday? We shall see.

Anyway today I will be writing about my beliefs and trying to shed a little light on other beliefs in a way too.

Let’s get started!

There is no right or wrong belief system: If you truly believe in one religion then that’s fine. I cannot stress that enough. People argue about “their” religions all the time. The truth is, every persons beliefs are different. Perhaps even only slightly. This is because religion or beliefs are a spiritual thing, they are connected to us individually in a unique way that’s personal to us. There is absolutely no point in pointless arguments! Wait.. No seriously, it’s the kind of topic that people roll their eyes at and say “Really? You’re bringing this up, right now?” Because it only takes that one ass on  YouTube who thinks he’s (or she’s)  god’s gift to start hating on everyone. You don’t need that. No-one needs it. He or she is doing it just to piss you and everyone else off.  Duckbutt.

Don’t rise up to the haters: Silence can be an ally. I’m not saying if someone is being totally disrespectful don’t stand up for yourself. No. I’m saying if someone says that you are stupid for believing in what you do or that their beliefs are the true beliefs system. It’d be better to say to them “that’s fine if you feel that way, just know that I do not.” If you feel yourself becoming really irritated about what they are saying because they don’t stop, then they have some issues. Don’t let yourself have the same issues okay? You can’t change a way a person thinks or feels if they are truly passionate about what they are talking about. It’s best, in my opinion to let whatever hate this person has slide. Remember the hate they might have doesn’t reflect you as a person if you don’t rise up to it. But it does reflect the type of person they are. A shrug of your shoulders and saying “if that’s how you feel, I’m not opposed, but I’m not going to believe in that just because you tell me to.” Is what I feel would be acceptable to stop them trying harder. Be firm, but not crazy. Be mature, but not stuck up about it.

Believe in the things that make sense to you: So I said, beliefs and/or religion is an individual deal. If you are like me and believe in the spiritual/spirituality part of it, than also like me you can pick ‘n’ chose what you believe in. I feel it should be the same with religions. For instance you can be happy to agree with some aspects but not to others. We live in a modern world. We are taught that religion is not supposed to be law or a rule book, but more of a guide. So choose what matters. As a general rule, religions and/or beliefs are moral guides. To live life a certain way of your choosing. I was brought up going to a Christian school, I was Christened. However I choose not to believe in God. (I believe in a higher power, just it’s not necessarily God.) But I do believe in treating everyone with respect and to treat others how you’d want to be treated. All those good moral behaviours that we can choose to have or not. So it’s important (I believe) for individuals to seek out what makes them happy in life and to pick and choose what they want to believe. I can understand that It’s a lot harder when you come from a strict family, still no one can physically force you to feel something inside that you don’t want to or can’t feel. You might walk the walk and all that, but you may not truly be happy with it; It’s time to choose.

Being Spiritual: Being spiritual for me is relaxing. It eases me out of any stress or worry. To me being spiritual isn’t all about higher powers, to me it’s about enjoying the now, plan for the future and to be happy with what I have got, rather than wishing for things I could never have. I suppose I’m kind of hippie, I mean I work hard at everything, but I do like to just let it all go and relax for a while. Who wouldn’t? Life shouldn’t be all work and no play! More to the point that’s only one side of me. I like to be balanced which is another part of being spiritual. My wardrobe is probably as “Ying and Yang” as it gets. One day I look like a hippy the next I’m a rock chick and sometimes there’s elements of the two. It’s the same with my music. All these different things I have make me – me. Which all contribute to my way of life and spirituality. Certain influences can create certain beliefs and it is the same for each and every person in the world. I would say the biggest thing about spirituality if you are like me and believe in the spirit realm is to always try to debunk everything. Don’t take things at face value. Search for the answers. Don’t let your imagination rule your brain.

It does not have to be hard work!: You need to be enjoying your life, not slugging out each and every damn minute of the day! If it’s something you believe in, then it should come naturally to you. You shouldn’t have to force yourself to get out of bed every day to pray or meditate. If it’s part of your belief than you should be enjoying it. If not, you may have to rethink it. I don’t believe – maybe you do?- that if you have a “higher power” that guides you that you should only call if you need some help. Kinda rude. I’m not saying you should just strike up a casual conversation either though. What I mean is, instead of asking for things you want e.g. a new job or a new pet. You could be asking for simple things such as; for your family to be okay and/or talk about your worries. Even just saying it out loud (or in your head) helps you to think straight. Take things a day at a time. (If you are new to a belief and/or religion especially.) I’ve been spiritual properly since I was sixteen, I’m now twenty one and I’m still taking it steady. Mainly because I believe in the spirit realm, so I’m really going to need some proper work and preparation before I even think to take that further.

So just enjoy life. Your beliefs will fall into place, trust me.

Three things: 1) Never change your mind if someone tells you are wrong about your beliefs regarding spirituality. 2) Everyone believes in something; a belief is a way of life. 3) Keep searching for your answers.

I hope you enjoyed this post. I probably have a ton more things to say… but if I wrote down everything in this one post, I’d spoil all the fun…


Thank you for reading

As always, until the next time.

Picture from: http://www.magforwomen.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/ways-to-increase-spirituality-in-your-life.jpgAll love goes to the artist.

Lack of Control in Life: Getting Mad and Letting Go

One month.

That’s all it was. (Well… One month, a summer holiday and about a week later…)

When I look back on it, it felt so much longer. I guess depression does that to a person.

It was June 23rd 2014. I finally started working somewhere I thought was a match made in heaven. Little did I realise, it was soon not to be the case.

It doesn’t bother me that they lied to my face, because I knew they were lying as soon as they opened their mouths. No, it bothers me, that they didn’t try harder. Try harder to talk to me properly, instead of taking their problems out on me.

Maybe I’m old fashioned but I go to work, to work. I work with children because I enjoy it. I love to teach children new things and sometimes learn things together. So no, it doesn’t bother me that they said “I didn’t fit in.” It bothers me that they told me I wasn’t bonding properly (whatever they saw fit in their eyes – yeah, I have no idea either) with the children.

I could list many ways on how I bonded with the children, for instance talking, singing, reading, listening and most importantly engaging/taking an interest. But this list is mainly for your benefit, so you get an idea of how I am with children.

On the whole I believe It would’ve helped tremendously if they had given me my key children… From the very beginning it felt like they didn’t want me there. I had no key to get in, no uniform, no CRB/DBS check, no key children. Nothing to properly define my place there. Lack of security.

I was never going to write about this on here. However the truth has come to light today and it brought it all up again. Even this “truth” feels like a “half-truth.” I can’t help this feeling that maybe I should have shaken my doubts and just tried harder myself. But there’s only so much you can do when you get the vibe that you aren’t really wanted or needed in the room. Which comes to another interesting fact that they denied being over staffed on some of the days…Sigh

I’m struggling hard not to be bitter about it all. I know I need to let it go, because I’m starting a new job in a few days (by the way if you have read my earlier post – my sleeping is going well, just gotta make sure I get to sleep earlier too!) and I just don’t want to drag that baggage with me.

A lot happened in a month. Over the summer I felt it wasn’t right and started looking for other work, I just didn’t realise how quickly they were going to let me go. I chuckled a bit when I was told “This isn’t working out…” I thought “Ya, think so?” It’s hard when things start off nice and it turns out to be a façade…

Also people don’t always make it clear what they expect of you, and quite frankly it pisses me right off.

I did my job. I stand by, what I expected of them – never happened (too much gossip and tea drinking for my liking) and what they expected of me – didn’t happen. I despise the fact that in a space of a week they thought I’d be really “clicky” with them (they are quite the clique) when I said in the interview, “It does take me a little while to tell people a lot about myself” – I’m guarded, get over it. But I wasn’t “off” with them either and did try to tell them about me, more so if they asked.

They were all quite older than I was. People think that’s a factor too. It probably was, but at the same time I know people who are a lot older than me and we get on great. I think it’s a personality clash myself. In light of this they also warned me that “We are a clique and find it hard to let other people mix” – or words to that effect. If I can try, they should have been adult enough to try too since they knew their own problems. Isn’t it half the battle? If you say to someone you recognise the problem, you should try to take the next step like I did, instead of “here’s the facts, yeah, we aren’t changing.” – wouldn’t Ofsted be pleased with that result?!

Fake, is a word I would use for them. I would say other things but I cannot, for I fear I would regret my words in the morning. Rage aside, at least I know what to look out for and what to avoid in the future.

Despite this though, we may have just crossed some serious wires. Who knows? The communication itself wasn’t great anyway. Something everyone should learn in life: not everyone will like you. In the end, we just weren’t meant to be.

Lessons to be learned and all that.

I feel a lot better after writing this all down. I feel I can make peace with it now.

Is there anything you’d like to make peace with? Trust me, you’ll feel better once you just let it go…

As always thank you for reading my rambles.

Until the next time.

Picture found: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0iBktncF-IE/UFeqBTxc6FI/AAAAAAAAAyk/vT_teNYva9s/s1600/304721_380997701966679_1341093772_n.jpg (Whoever did this is awesome)