I don’t know about you, but there are times when I feel completely alone. To face things alone is daunting. However to realise there are people around to help me, is like reaching out into the darkness and suddenly a bright warm light is raining down; making me feel safe and secure again.
I met with a friend of mine a little while ago. I had been feeling pretty low because strange things had been happening to me and it had been chipping away at my strength each (long) day. I had explained things that were happening and she did what any good friend would do – gave advice. After all these years (after school) I’m not used to being the one receiving advice. Usually it’s the other way around. However I accepted her advice and since then things have been picking up.
It goes to show, acceptance to change positively goes a long way for the mind and soul.
I won’t go into details about what was happening at home, because I’m not even sure if I believe it myself. All I know is that is was effecting my mood, behaviour and general energy. It was unpleasant but I feel I have managed to suppress and/or get rid of whatever was wrong.
It took me years to be comfortable reaching out to people properly, and I think there will still be a part of me that will always hold back. I find it hard to trust people and I get nervous in big social gatherings. Or even just meeting up with a friend after a really long time. It always crosses my mind to make an excuse not to go or to think of a way out or only stay for a certain amount of time and then make some sort of excuse to leave. So to have people genuinely concerned about me and caring for me is a little strange still because of my lack of trust… but I try not to let it stop me meeting with friends and having a good time. I’ve especially been working on my trust, because I know that not everyone is out for themselves and that there are real, good and honest people out there like myself with no ulterior motives. Those are the people to trust.
Let me be clear, It’s never about the people I’m going to spend my time with. My close ones are the right people, they are all awesome, honest people. I’m lucky to be surrounded by so many good people. It’s all on me. I get social anxiety. People don’t tend to realise this about me, because I try to never let it show. However the traits I get is going quiet and reserved. If you are like me, all I can say is try to keep pushing forward, and don’t let your anxiety get the better of you. Even if you are worried, you could be surprised and warmed by the feeling that you made the right decision to go out and enjoy your life.
I don’t feel I have social anxiety to an extent that some people may have it. I don’t claim that it’s easy to just get up and go out with a large group of people or even just one or two people if you suffer with it. Everyone has good days and bad days. Everyone feels and reacts to things differently (even just slightly) It’s how you deal and manage them – is what counts.
I like to remind myself of these things before going out sometimes on a “bad day” because on the day I met up with my friend it gave me courage to push through life in the best way possible. I was able to gain advice and become stronger from it. It was a gentle hug in the right direction and I’m so pleased I went. I was worried because we hadn’t seen each other in so long that it could be awkward. In the end, we actually spoke about it. I was being open and honest about it all and it turned out we felt the same! I was a little relieved and it made me feel much more comfortable to have that finally out in the open.
*Takes a deep breath*
So… What I wanted to tell you was, once again I am pleasantly surprised by the power friendship and impact people can have in our lives. I wanted to tell you that when things seem the darkest; that’s the perfect time to reach out to someone close, who you know will understand you. I wanted to tell you that, you are never alone. No one is ever alone. You may have to fight for it or you may need to take that first step to reach out for it. Still, you are never facing this world on your own if you don’t want to be.
If you are facing this, I implore you to be open and honest with your close ones. The people that will help you and understand that you might be finding things a little difficult right now.
Who knows, you might come away feeling a little bit stronger, a little less afraid and a lot more happier for letting your thoughts and emotions out.
Until the next time…
Picture found – https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B8eO5dTIcAA0rgi.png (lovely picture, kudos to artist and quote)