Let’s have a catch up!

Hello friends,

In my last post – quite a while ago now! – I recall simply ranting about rubbish accommodation when private renting. Needless to say, at this point it was hard to keep my cool! I’d like to announce though that the carpet it sorted. Cheaply. But sorted. That’s the main thing -right? And cleaning a three bed house has become much easier!

Moving out for the first time is all a bit of a learning curve.

Even if you are moving out with someone or going off to university accommodation, you are still transitioning from one home to another. For a while you may even be reluctant to call your new place “home.” Everyone deals with moving out differently. It’s okay to not be okay for a while.  Even though it’s a good thing to leave the nest, it takes some getting used to!

It’s almost a year now since I left. With another move around the corner I’m quite apprehensive about what’s in store for the next year ahead!

I can honestly say I feel a lot older for it.

Wiser? I’m not so sure! I know I have more to learn. But that’s a good thing.

I’ve been through quite a lot emotionally and mentally in my house. It’s been a bit of a wild ride and I feel I’m only just coming out of the woods now and feeling more like myself again.

To have people come into our house and not feel comfortable spiritually is saddening. There seems to be quite a disturbance here. Then to have an inspector come over checking if we have everything and what’s wrong with the place for her to turn to us and say:

“You should never have been allowed to live in this house.”

Yeah. Scary stuff, huh?

This has helped us look out for certain …legal… things in the future.

But we are the lucky ones. We can afford to save and leave next year. Sure we have to save hard, but we CAN save.

There are a lot of people who are in similar situations who cannot save the money to leave. Who are trapped, isolated and no one is helping them. It’s a losing battle. Landlords are taking liberties because they don’t have to care until it gets so bad the environmental control get involved and they have no choice. This isn’t the way it is meant to be. It’s appalling people are being treated this way.

I count my blessings that I am in a better situation. My eyes have opened, once again I am taught “it could be worse” and “make the best of the situation.” Two things that some may say; you shouldn’t have to feel that way. And no, no I shouldn’t. But it’s about seeing the end of the chapter. Knowing it’s not forever and that it will get better.

I’m not about to give up. Are you?


Until the next time.



Picture found: http://bernardsestates.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/house-landlords-pic.jpg  – Credit goes to original photographer.





Social Anxeity; Pushing Through Life in the Best Way

Hello reader,

I don’t know about you, but there are times when I feel completely alone. To face things alone is daunting. However to realise there are people around to help me, is like reaching out into the darkness and suddenly a bright warm light is raining down; making me feel safe and secure again.

I met with a friend of mine a little while ago. I had been feeling pretty low because strange things had been happening to me and it had been chipping away at my strength each (long) day. I had explained things that were happening and she did what any good friend would do – gave advice. After all these years (after school) I’m not used to being the one receiving advice. Usually it’s the other way around. However I accepted her advice and since then things have been picking up.

It goes to show, acceptance to change positively goes a long way for the mind and soul.  

I won’t go into details about what was happening at home, because I’m not even sure if I believe it myself. All I know is that is was effecting my mood, behaviour and general energy. It was unpleasant but I feel I have managed to suppress and/or get rid of whatever was wrong.

It took me years to be comfortable reaching out to people properly, and I think there will still be a part of me that will always hold back. I find it hard to trust people and I get nervous in big social gatherings. Or even just meeting up with a friend after a really long time. It always crosses my mind to make an excuse not to go or to think of a way out or only stay for a certain amount of time and then make some sort of excuse to leave. So to have people genuinely concerned about me and caring for me is a little strange still because of my lack of trust… but I try not to let it stop me meeting with friends and having a good time. I’ve especially been working on my trust, because I know that not everyone is out for themselves and that there are real, good and honest people out there like myself with no ulterior motives. Those are the people to trust.

Let me be clear, It’s never about the people I’m going to spend my time with. My close ones are the right people, they are all awesome, honest people. I’m lucky to be surrounded by so many good people. It’s all on me. I get social anxiety. People don’t tend to realise this about me, because I try to never let it show. However the traits I get is going quiet and reserved. If you are like me, all I can say is try to keep pushing forward, and don’t let your anxiety get the better of you. Even if you are worried, you could be surprised and warmed by the feeling that you made the right decision to go out and enjoy your life.

I don’t feel I have social anxiety to an extent that some people may have it. I don’t claim that it’s easy to just get up and go out with a large group of people or even just one or two people if you suffer with it. Everyone has good days and bad days. Everyone feels and reacts to things differently (even just slightly) It’s how you deal and manage them – is what counts.

I like to remind myself of these things before going out sometimes on a “bad day” because on the day I met up with my friend it gave me courage to push through life in the best way possible. I was able to gain advice and become stronger from it. It was a gentle hug in the right direction and I’m so pleased I went. I was worried because we hadn’t seen each other in so long that it could be awkward. In the end, we actually spoke about it. I was being open and honest about it all and it turned out we felt the same! I was a little relieved and it made me feel much more comfortable to have that finally out in the open.

*Takes a deep breath*

So… What I wanted to tell you was, once again I am pleasantly surprised by the power friendship and impact people can have in our lives. I wanted to tell you that when things seem the darkest; that’s the perfect time to reach out to someone close, who you know will understand you. I wanted to tell you that, you are never alone. No one is ever alone. You may have to fight for it or you may need to take that first step to reach out for it. Still, you are never facing this world on your own if you don’t want to be.

If you are facing this, I implore you to be open and honest with your close ones. The people that will help you and understand that you might be finding things a little difficult right now.

Who knows, you might come away feeling a little bit stronger, a little less afraid and a lot more happier for letting your thoughts and emotions out.

Good luck.

Until the next time…

Picture found – https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B8eO5dTIcAA0rgi.png (lovely picture, kudos to artist and quote)

Wishing Upon A Star

Dear reader,

Wishes have been a bit of a theme for me this week. Why? Well, I’m coming to the end of my contract at my current job, and like most people I hope (and pray) that things will work out. Now I’m not normally the “praying type” but like some people I ask for guidance when times are tough.

Commonly asking for things like “show me a sign” or “I would really like this to happen, so please…” However recently I have found myself in the middle of asking for something that I really want e.g. a new job, but have stopped to say “sorry.”

This is because I have found I only ask for guidance when I need something like many of us do. We try and take without giving anything back. This isn’t how the world works. Life is all about balance – give and take.

So I have apologised for being selfish. For only thinking about what I want out of my life. (Even if it does seem like the normal thing to do…) Instead I am trying to make these things happen myself. Getting off my butt and actively trying to change my life. It can be difficult at times, though I have always said to people “no one can change the outcome but you.” So it’s time to take some of my words of wisdom and use it in my own life – to practice what I preach.

I guess what I’m saying is, if you are in a tight situation right now and are at a bit of a crossroads, think about what you want out of life and take the steps yourself. Don’t start wishing on a star or praying that something will fall onto your lap. Stop relying that a miracle will befall you and take that first stride out into the real world to make it happen. As long as you’ve got good intent, I’m sure you can do whatever it is you set your mind to!

On the other hand, It’s okay to reach out to what you feel is a “higher power” in your life, for a feeling of support. Just try to be aware of how much you are doing so and try not to demand anything. It should come out relaxed as if talking to a friend about your troubles rather than asking for favours all the time. Just remember to give something back (which could very well be taking the first steps to sorting out your own dilemma, or reaching out to a friend or close relation for support.)  Sometimes it’s completely understandable to have a feeling of something greater than yourself, protecting you along the way.

Thanks for reading,

“There’s no point having wishes if you don’t at least try to do them” – Sally Nicholls 

Sorry it’s a bit short tonight, I should be writing again soon!

Until the next time…

Image – found – http://www.desktopwallpapers4.me/fantasy/wish-upon-a-star-6949/ : Kudos to artist.