Stressed much?

Hey all,

Welcome to another blog post of “The Enlightenment Aspiration.” (Or ‘TEA’ for short – I love it. Not gonna deny it.)

Today I want to discuss stress. We all get stressed. Hormones such as cortisol attack our systems so heart rate goes up, as well as risk to high blood pressure… You cant concentrate, you start to get hot, you can also be prone to headaches and anger. Some of us are even stressed right now. Not all of us realise when we are stressed (believe it or not.) So I’m going to talk about some of the causes and symptoms of stress and ways you can deal with it.

Let’s begin:

What can cause stress? (In no particular order…)

  • Sense of control – do you feel in control of the situation?
  • Your own attitude – Have you got an “all or nothing” attitude? Or Is the world out to get you?
  • Negative thoughts/emotions  – ties into your own attitude.
  • Your ability to deal with and understand your own emotions.
  • The people around you – how supported do you feel?
  • Hormones – can be a real struggle to deal with and can make us feel stressed… ladies in particular.
  • Life changes (extreme) – loss of a loved one, moving away etc.
  • Work/School – an obvious one for most.
  • Relationships (all kinds)  – boyfriend/girlfriend, family, friends, colleagues etc.
  • Generally being busy – Being busy all day every day is tiring, which makes things harder to deal with.
  • Financial worries – money is an obvious stress trigger.
  • Depression – this causes a monumental amount of unwanted stress (not that stress is wanted…pft.)
  • Unrealistic expectations of yourself and those around you – “No one’s perfect but…”

So… What do I need to look out for?

  • Inability to concentrate
  • Short patience
  • Aches in muscles
  • Headaches
  • Chest pain
  • Frequent illnesses
  • Lethargic/Insomnia
  • Frustration
  • Upset and/or Moodiness
  • Avoidance of others
  • Feeling sick/loss of appetite
  • Eating more/comfort eating
  • Feeling bad about yourself (low confidence/self esteem)
  • Depression

What about how to deal with these types of emotions?

How to relax and de-stress yourself… (If only for a while…)

  • Set aside “me time.” Sure you have a lot to do, and nothing can wait and it’s all crazy right now… right? Wrong. Whether it’s just 30 minutes in a day, you can have your time. Take some well deserved “me time” back!
  • Relaxation methods – eh… this can help, if you are super keen in meditation and yoga. The problem is, when you’re quite stressed it’s hard to concentrate on your breathing and sitting still for ages. I’d personally take 10 deep breaths then lie down to watch a film! With icecream. Your choice. Or baths. Warm bubble baths help moods and also any aches and pains you might have from a long day.
  • Exercise – A simple jog ’round the block, or a stroll in a nice park on a lovely day can up your mood.
  • Sleep more – get your 8 hours of sleep. Or try to get as near that as possible. If you are finding it hard to sleep, I suggest getting some lavender fragrance spray that you can put on pillow cases. Should help you really well. If you don’t like lavender, go for one of your favourite fragrances I think other choices are lemon, mint etc. Or you can use a pot-pourri bowl and put it in the room.
  • Eat healthily  – over or under eating can cause discomfort in body, mind and soul. Try to eat what is suitable for you.
  • Music – I may be biased because I love music, but sometimes rocking out to my favourite rock albums or dancing to some country/rock music around my room makes me feel better. What about you?
  • Walk away from that argument you’re having – I mean don’t storm off. But inhale that deep breath, stop talking for a moment and take the time to calm down in another room before discussing things further. Sometimes it might help to go on a 10 minute walk before continuing. Just be open about it, don’t leave the other person guessing what you’re doing or why you suddenly walked away; it would just cause more stress.
  • They say, chewing gum is helpful… Eh.. .it’s not for me. But it might help you?
  • Turn your phone off… or just on silent – if it’s your phone thats stressing you out. Help yourself. Turn it off. Or has some person been bugging you for ages? Don’t reply. As tempting as it may be. You have a choice.
  • Art – believe it or not some people find it fun to de-stress by being creative. Make something fun with your hands like a card or painting. It doesn’t have to be amazing art work –  arts and crafts isn’t just for kids. I like to do some knitting sometimes, though if I’m really stressed I cant concentrate on it for too long.
  • Got clutter? – remove that clutter in your home. Recycle it, bin it, bag some of it up and give it to charity, I don’t mind. If you don’t really need it or use it, it can go. I find anyway that a good tidy up of my home and a bit of a rearrangement of furniture somehow rearranges my outlook and emotions in my mind.
  • Writing – Any writer would find writing relaxing (at the right time). I don’t believe it would work everytime… But sometimes getting engrossed into writing can set your mind onto other things which can help you feel less stressed. Or by writing you can write down your emotions and what’s going on and suddenly you have some control back and you can deal with it. You don’t necessarily even have to be a “writer” to write these things down.
  • Do something fun – ties in with “me time” but it doesn’t have to. Plan something to look forward to for the weekend or your next pay check. Going out for the day with friends, family or just by yourself can give you the motivation you may need to get through the week. When the weeks over you then get to de-stress with the fun thing you planned!

I hope some of these ideas have helped. You may have already had these ideas to begin with… But hey, the only person who can really know how to de-stress you, is you.  Don’t let stress win, our mission shall be to learn to be optimistic in our thinking and strive to be as laid-back as possible (without dire consequences). It’s time to help yourself.

Until the next time!

http://cdn2.dailyburn.com/life/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Stressful-Scenarios_2.jpg – Picture found. Kudos.

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Of Spirituality and Other Beliefs

Hello reader,

I wasn’t sure what I could possibly write about today, but I decided on something “spiritual” related. I could’ve chosen to write about my first day at work, that feels too easy… maybe I will write about my first week at work on Friday? We shall see.

Anyway today I will be writing about my beliefs and trying to shed a little light on other beliefs in a way too.

Let’s get started!

There is no right or wrong belief system: If you truly believe in one religion then that’s fine. I cannot stress that enough. People argue about “their” religions all the time. The truth is, every persons beliefs are different. Perhaps even only slightly. This is because religion or beliefs are a spiritual thing, they are connected to us individually in a unique way that’s personal to us. There is absolutely no point in pointless arguments! Wait.. No seriously, it’s the kind of topic that people roll their eyes at and say “Really? You’re bringing this up, right now?” Because it only takes that one ass on  YouTube who thinks he’s (or she’s)  god’s gift to start hating on everyone. You don’t need that. No-one needs it. He or she is doing it just to piss you and everyone else off.  Duckbutt.

Don’t rise up to the haters: Silence can be an ally. I’m not saying if someone is being totally disrespectful don’t stand up for yourself. No. I’m saying if someone says that you are stupid for believing in what you do or that their beliefs are the true beliefs system. It’d be better to say to them “that’s fine if you feel that way, just know that I do not.” If you feel yourself becoming really irritated about what they are saying because they don’t stop, then they have some issues. Don’t let yourself have the same issues okay? You can’t change a way a person thinks or feels if they are truly passionate about what they are talking about. It’s best, in my opinion to let whatever hate this person has slide. Remember the hate they might have doesn’t reflect you as a person if you don’t rise up to it. But it does reflect the type of person they are. A shrug of your shoulders and saying “if that’s how you feel, I’m not opposed, but I’m not going to believe in that just because you tell me to.” Is what I feel would be acceptable to stop them trying harder. Be firm, but not crazy. Be mature, but not stuck up about it.

Believe in the things that make sense to you: So I said, beliefs and/or religion is an individual deal. If you are like me and believe in the spiritual/spirituality part of it, than also like me you can pick ‘n’ chose what you believe in. I feel it should be the same with religions. For instance you can be happy to agree with some aspects but not to others. We live in a modern world. We are taught that religion is not supposed to be law or a rule book, but more of a guide. So choose what matters. As a general rule, religions and/or beliefs are moral guides. To live life a certain way of your choosing. I was brought up going to a Christian school, I was Christened. However I choose not to believe in God. (I believe in a higher power, just it’s not necessarily God.) But I do believe in treating everyone with respect and to treat others how you’d want to be treated. All those good moral behaviours that we can choose to have or not. So it’s important (I believe) for individuals to seek out what makes them happy in life and to pick and choose what they want to believe. I can understand that It’s a lot harder when you come from a strict family, still no one can physically force you to feel something inside that you don’t want to or can’t feel. You might walk the walk and all that, but you may not truly be happy with it; It’s time to choose.

Being Spiritual: Being spiritual for me is relaxing. It eases me out of any stress or worry. To me being spiritual isn’t all about higher powers, to me it’s about enjoying the now, plan for the future and to be happy with what I have got, rather than wishing for things I could never have. I suppose I’m kind of hippie, I mean I work hard at everything, but I do like to just let it all go and relax for a while. Who wouldn’t? Life shouldn’t be all work and no play! More to the point that’s only one side of me. I like to be balanced which is another part of being spiritual. My wardrobe is probably as “Ying and Yang” as it gets. One day I look like a hippy the next I’m a rock chick and sometimes there’s elements of the two. It’s the same with my music. All these different things I have make me – me. Which all contribute to my way of life and spirituality. Certain influences can create certain beliefs and it is the same for each and every person in the world. I would say the biggest thing about spirituality if you are like me and believe in the spirit realm is to always try to debunk everything. Don’t take things at face value. Search for the answers. Don’t let your imagination rule your brain.

It does not have to be hard work!: You need to be enjoying your life, not slugging out each and every damn minute of the day! If it’s something you believe in, then it should come naturally to you. You shouldn’t have to force yourself to get out of bed every day to pray or meditate. If it’s part of your belief than you should be enjoying it. If not, you may have to rethink it. I don’t believe – maybe you do?- that if you have a “higher power” that guides you that you should only call if you need some help. Kinda rude. I’m not saying you should just strike up a casual conversation either though. What I mean is, instead of asking for things you want e.g. a new job or a new pet. You could be asking for simple things such as; for your family to be okay and/or talk about your worries. Even just saying it out loud (or in your head) helps you to think straight. Take things a day at a time. (If you are new to a belief and/or religion especially.) I’ve been spiritual properly since I was sixteen, I’m now twenty one and I’m still taking it steady. Mainly because I believe in the spirit realm, so I’m really going to need some proper work and preparation before I even think to take that further.

So just enjoy life. Your beliefs will fall into place, trust me.

Three things: 1) Never change your mind if someone tells you are wrong about your beliefs regarding spirituality. 2) Everyone believes in something; a belief is a way of life. 3) Keep searching for your answers.

I hope you enjoyed this post. I probably have a ton more things to say… but if I wrote down everything in this one post, I’d spoil all the fun…

Anyway,

Thank you for reading

As always, until the next time.

Picture from: http://www.magforwomen.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/ways-to-increase-spirituality-in-your-life.jpgAll love goes to the artist.

Lack of Control in Life: Getting Mad and Letting Go

One month.

That’s all it was. (Well… One month, a summer holiday and about a week later…)

When I look back on it, it felt so much longer. I guess depression does that to a person.

It was June 23rd 2014. I finally started working somewhere I thought was a match made in heaven. Little did I realise, it was soon not to be the case.

It doesn’t bother me that they lied to my face, because I knew they were lying as soon as they opened their mouths. No, it bothers me, that they didn’t try harder. Try harder to talk to me properly, instead of taking their problems out on me.

Maybe I’m old fashioned but I go to work, to work. I work with children because I enjoy it. I love to teach children new things and sometimes learn things together. So no, it doesn’t bother me that they said “I didn’t fit in.” It bothers me that they told me I wasn’t bonding properly (whatever they saw fit in their eyes – yeah, I have no idea either) with the children.

I could list many ways on how I bonded with the children, for instance talking, singing, reading, listening and most importantly engaging/taking an interest. But this list is mainly for your benefit, so you get an idea of how I am with children.

On the whole I believe It would’ve helped tremendously if they had given me my key children… From the very beginning it felt like they didn’t want me there. I had no key to get in, no uniform, no CRB/DBS check, no key children. Nothing to properly define my place there. Lack of security.

I was never going to write about this on here. However the truth has come to light today and it brought it all up again. Even this “truth” feels like a “half-truth.” I can’t help this feeling that maybe I should have shaken my doubts and just tried harder myself. But there’s only so much you can do when you get the vibe that you aren’t really wanted or needed in the room. Which comes to another interesting fact that they denied being over staffed on some of the days…Sigh

I’m struggling hard not to be bitter about it all. I know I need to let it go, because I’m starting a new job in a few days (by the way if you have read my earlier post – my sleeping is going well, just gotta make sure I get to sleep earlier too!) and I just don’t want to drag that baggage with me.

A lot happened in a month. Over the summer I felt it wasn’t right and started looking for other work, I just didn’t realise how quickly they were going to let me go. I chuckled a bit when I was told “This isn’t working out…” I thought “Ya, think so?” It’s hard when things start off nice and it turns out to be a façade…

Also people don’t always make it clear what they expect of you, and quite frankly it pisses me right off.

I did my job. I stand by, what I expected of them – never happened (too much gossip and tea drinking for my liking) and what they expected of me – didn’t happen. I despise the fact that in a space of a week they thought I’d be really “clicky” with them (they are quite the clique) when I said in the interview, “It does take me a little while to tell people a lot about myself” – I’m guarded, get over it. But I wasn’t “off” with them either and did try to tell them about me, more so if they asked.

They were all quite older than I was. People think that’s a factor too. It probably was, but at the same time I know people who are a lot older than me and we get on great. I think it’s a personality clash myself. In light of this they also warned me that “We are a clique and find it hard to let other people mix” – or words to that effect. If I can try, they should have been adult enough to try too since they knew their own problems. Isn’t it half the battle? If you say to someone you recognise the problem, you should try to take the next step like I did, instead of “here’s the facts, yeah, we aren’t changing.” – wouldn’t Ofsted be pleased with that result?!

Fake, is a word I would use for them. I would say other things but I cannot, for I fear I would regret my words in the morning. Rage aside, at least I know what to look out for and what to avoid in the future.

Despite this though, we may have just crossed some serious wires. Who knows? The communication itself wasn’t great anyway. Something everyone should learn in life: not everyone will like you. In the end, we just weren’t meant to be.

Lessons to be learned and all that.

I feel a lot better after writing this all down. I feel I can make peace with it now.

Is there anything you’d like to make peace with? Trust me, you’ll feel better once you just let it go…

As always thank you for reading my rambles.

Until the next time.

Picture found: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0iBktncF-IE/UFeqBTxc6FI/AAAAAAAAAyk/vT_teNYva9s/s1600/304721_380997701966679_1341093772_n.jpg (Whoever did this is awesome)