Let’s have a catch up!

Hello friends,

In my last post – quite a while ago now! – I recall simply ranting about rubbish accommodation when private renting. Needless to say, at this point it was hard to keep my cool! I’d like to announce though that the carpet it sorted. Cheaply. But sorted. That’s the main thing -right? And cleaning a three bed house has become much easier!

Moving out for the first time is all a bit of a learning curve.

Even if you are moving out with someone or going off to university accommodation, you are still transitioning from one home to another. For a while you may even be reluctant to call your new place “home.” Everyone deals with moving out differently. It’s okay to not be okay for a while.  Even though it’s a good thing to leave the nest, it takes some getting used to!

It’s almost a year now since I left. With another move around the corner I’m quite apprehensive about what’s in store for the next year ahead!

I can honestly say I feel a lot older for it.

Wiser? I’m not so sure! I know I have more to learn. But that’s a good thing.

I’ve been through quite a lot emotionally and mentally in my house. It’s been a bit of a wild ride and I feel I’m only just coming out of the woods now and feeling more like myself again.

To have people come into our house and not feel comfortable spiritually is saddening. There seems to be quite a disturbance here. Then to have an inspector come over checking if we have everything and what’s wrong with the place for her to turn to us and say:

“You should never have been allowed to live in this house.”

Yeah. Scary stuff, huh?

This has helped us look out for certain …legal… things in the future.

But we are the lucky ones. We can afford to save and leave next year. Sure we have to save hard, but we CAN save.

There are a lot of people who are in similar situations who cannot save the money to leave. Who are trapped, isolated and no one is helping them. It’s a losing battle. Landlords are taking liberties because they don’t have to care until it gets so bad the environmental control get involved and they have no choice. This isn’t the way it is meant to be. It’s appalling people are being treated this way.

I count my blessings that I am in a better situation. My eyes have opened, once again I am taught “it could be worse” and “make the best of the situation.” Two things that some may say; you shouldn’t have to feel that way. And no, no I shouldn’t. But it’s about seeing the end of the chapter. Knowing it’s not forever and that it will get better.

I’m not about to give up. Are you?

 

Until the next time.

 

 

Picture found: http://bernardsestates.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/house-landlords-pic.jpg  – Credit goes to original photographer.

 

 

 

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Never Give Up – Your dreams can overcome your nightmares.

Hello reader,

Where do I begin today?

Let me lay it out for you simply:

  • Anxiety
  • Dealing with the future/Support

Let’s begin…

Many of us at some point in our lives will have to come to terms with the huge reality that anxiety will affect us. As hard as it seems, we no longer have to suffer in silence about it. It has become if not “normal” but reasonable to say “I am hurting, I need help.”

The stresses and the general pressure of the population, would lead you to believe that what you may be feeling and/or experiencing is something you alone are feeling/experiencing; that you must deal with it yourself because no one really understands or cares truly about your strife.

This in fact, is completely wrong.

That is your brain being a negative ball of deflated energy that you can rewire if you start the ball rolling in another direction.

Easier said than done though?

Let’s take a look…

Anxiety:

Anxiety is a worry or nervousness created by unease of a situation. You may feel fearful or tense about doing something, or where you are. Any physical symptoms are (mainly) caused by the brain sending signals through the nervous system. The nerves make parts of the body work faster in a “fight or flight” scenario, which can be useful in some situations. Although the anxiety I am discussing is of a more malicious kind, that can cause anxiety attacks or panic attacks. Which can appear for no apparent reason and seems irrational.

There are various anxiety disorders to consider, but for this post I will focus on “General Anxiety Disorder” or GAD for short. Which is feeling high levels of stress/worry most (if not every) day. GAD effects 1 in 50 people and is seen mostly in women and older people. However it can begin in your early 20’s.

Causes of GAD are things such as; trauma, genetics and major stress e.g. family crisis.

If you feel you many suffer with anxiety/stress or even GAD I strongly recommend going to visit your local doctor/GP. You wont be wasting their time. They can get you on the right path for support, for example prescribing medicines or counseling. It’s important you get help for this. Alternatively you can try “self-help” by getting leaflets and books on how to combat stress levels. There are also plenty of self-help websites that can help you with your anxieties.

A few things that could help are:

  • Deep breathing: A very slow breath in and a long slow breath out. Count up to 10. Or if you are struggling with sleep try the 4-7-8 breathing exercise: Breath in deeply for four seconds. Hold that breath for seven seconds. Breath out slowly for eight seconds. Repeat this four to five times and you should begin to feel sleepy. *yawwwwn*
  • Plan to relax: planning to take time out to relax makes you look forward to the day. Forward planning of relaxation time and taking time out because you’ve planned it and know you’ll still be able to do everything makes time out more fun and your stress levels go down. Take that control back!
  • Exercise: Go for a long walk, walk the dog, go on a bike ride or go for a run. There are plenty of ways to get some exercise in to take your mind off of everything, or try to sort things out in your mind. What ever the case some exercise will make you feel a bit better. Also swimming or tennis are my personal de-stress favourites – most likely because I can have fun with a friend!
  • Refrain from “drinking your sorrows away” : Not a long-term solution, best to be avoided. It will only cause more trouble!
  • Grab a book or online course: Unfortunately I do not hold all the answers. Never the less, there are things online that can help you. Try to be willing to put yourself out there and get motivated. Say: “I want to feel better, I will get better!” (And mean it!) Say it a few times in your head if you are struggling. This might seem strange at first, but in all honesty it’s your mentality that will affect how far you go – let’s stay positive – you can do it!
  • Back away from the caffeine and drink water: Tea and coffee are not the best thing in the world if you struggle from high anxiety. Try and get at least eight cups of water in a day. I’ve just learnt this myself – I’ve started drinking from a pint glass and I’m drinking at least three pints a day! I am a serial non-drinker and it really affects my health (you’d think I’d learn!) Now just by keeping a pint glass by my bed I have been drinking more and it’s even helped with my eating habits! I feel so much better in myself. Drinking more water helps with fatigue and I actually feel thirsty for once.
  • Contact a support group: Your local doctors can help you with finding a support group. Or simply go online and type in “local support groups” and you’ll be on your way to finding the right group for you!

I can understand when you look towards the future you may see an endless road of things to get down and a long list of troubles to overcome. After all we live in a society that is vast and ever-changing and we all have to cope with this on a daily basis. I hope that you will be able to get some motivation by reading my post to at least start to think about getting the help you deserve. Or to help you, help someone else in their struggles of anxiety so you can be supportive to them. I am a believer in the medicine of family and close friendships help. When you have that support behind you, you feel like you can do what you thought you couldn’t do. If you don’t feel like you have anyone I strongly recommend visiting your GP to have a chat straight away.

I can’t say enough the importance of helping yourself, to reach out and get the help. No one knows how you really feel until you tell them. You are hurting yourself by keeping it bottled inside. Adding to the stress, believing no-one cares. How can they, if you are not letting them in? Be yourself, be open. You will get the support you need and deserve!

You’ll be okay.

Thanks for reading,

Until the next time ~

Picture Found: http://static1.quoteswave.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Anyone-Can-Give-Up.-Its-The-Easiest-Thing-In-The-World-To-Do.jpg?03d4a8 – Kudos~

Never be ashamed of who you are…

Hey all,

So I’ve been thinking of something a bit more serious to write about, and I feel it’s always a good idea to write about things that you know about.

So what do I know?

I know myself.

…That’s a start…

I also know that on a daily basis women, young/mature women… females, struggle with hurdles set against us. And not for our or your amusement either. Not only do we have to struggle through monthly pains, there’s also a looming demon hovering over our heads called society. This secretly tells us that it’s not “proper” to act a certain way when you are of certain age. I call this a secret because it’s not really spoken of, and the few women who claim they aren’t affected by this… I can’t believe you. Apologies. But if you are truly honest, I would love to know some tips.

I cannot speak for men, I’m sure they have their own personal demons that they struggle with. But it’s okay for a guy to be… gross. No really. It is. No one judges you. Someone might go “Eww” (especially the “prudes”) but in general you do not get judged. At least not for very long. Maybe a second or two. Women may not be getting judged, but we feel like we do, and that’s worse than someone outwardly saying something just because women are very paranoid creatures at the best of times.

…Just saying.

My point being most, if not all women struggle with living with someone for the first time, sharing a bed, even being in close proximity to someone else when using the bathroom etc. Why? I mean we are told we live in a very excepting society and that everyone is human and we all have the same bodily functions as anyone else. But we cover it up (or try to with the best of our abilities…) We can get so embarrassed about the things we cannot control because it’s not okay to us. Or at least in the back of our minds it doesn’t feel like it’s okay. Even though it is.

Ladies, I’ve got your back!

It seems like over the years nothing has really changed when it comes to the image of women. We are still seen as though we are completely different to men. Which yes, we are to an extent. Though the differences aren’t all that far apart as to what you’d expect. I believe both men and women, have the same insecurities and emotions, the only thing is we tend to deal with them in different ways. For instance women are more emotional – tend to suffer in silence types when it comes to this, because that’s the “secret” way society implies its rules onto us. (It’s complicated, but women are complicated. That’s just how it is.) And guys, well I think some guys just fake confidence to get by… Correct me if I’m wrong. Haha, I haven’t got a clue, but it may have something to do again with the “secret” society plays on them too. I’m going to name it “the kind of secret code.”  You whisper the “kind of” part because people know it’s there, they just don’t like talking about it. I’m sure you know what I’m on about, if not… You have been amazingly oblivious to yourself and those around you, and I applaud your innocence – since I’d like to have that too.

No lie. There is a mountain of “how to handle bodily functions” for women online. How do I know? I have literally just looked it up. I thought there would be, but I wouldn’t be a very good writer if I didn’t at least check it out first, now would I? There’s even a lot of writing about women panicking about being gassy in front of their partners.

Women everywhere, If you can relax about yourself, you are going to be doing you a huge favour (that you can thank yourself for when mastering it.) I know you might be worried about what your other half thinks about you being gassy or if he can hear you in the toilet. Nevertheless, I want you to try and embrace it, even just a little bit.

If your partner can’t handle the fact that you are a human being, with the same needs, wants and bodily functions as any other than your partner doesn’t deserve you! I couldn’t live in that kind of relationship, and I’m sure you wouldn’t like that either.

So if you are a guy reading this, I’m sorry, not sorry but women have probably gotten a lot more complicated for you. Or you already knew! In which case I like you, you seem to care about us. Or you have sisters and been bombarded with information. That, I can be sorry about. Either way, try not to joke about us too much (unless we are okay with that) cause you might be making us … worse. We’re already crazy with all our conflicting emotions – try not to make it worse….

Seriously though, try to be more open with your partners about it, I’m not saying go through every little detail, but if you get it out there in the open, you can just relax about it. Women shouldn’t have to go through all this mental drama on their own.

Let’s lessen the clogging chaos on the internet about women and their strife about all these things that may matter at the time, but would just go away if spoken about shamelessly.