Blast from the Past!


In 2012 I created a blog with exactly two posts in it. One was of Anime, the other was of my spiritual nature. I can honestly say It’s strange to be reading something that I had completely forgotten about so long ago. It’s as if I’m staring at the eighteen year old me and saying “wtf are you on about?!” … In all seriousness I have decided to share this with all of the dear readers of mine, because not only does it show me how far I’ve come in three years, but it might help you reflect on just how far you’ve come too.

Meditation and Strange Events (by rabidsquirrels999)   (Haha, old nicknames…)

So, after being spoken to by a medium (clairaudient) he has reminded me of my love of all things spiritual and supernatural. This may be something “far out” to some people but believe me when i say if you can accept things and people as they are you will be a lot happier.

Moving on.

I tried a bit of meditation and blimmey was it hard to shut off! There’s loads of ways to do it, but what i found comfortable was to sit in the middle of my bedroom (some people tell you not to do this in your bedroom because of energies and things but, they also say to do it in a place you feel most comfortable – so it’s up to you!) and just relax and to concentrate on my breathing until I slowly “slipped away” now for the first time this took forever, and i was getting a bit impatient to be honest. But I stuck to it and something… weird happened.

First of all I started to feel a warm sensation in my ears, it was really strange and it was enough to make me want to stop doing the meditation. But i didn’t. I next had a sudden urge say “hello” to the left side of me, which is to me, completely crazy and you would probably agree and say “she’s nuts!” but that’s the thing, I did say “hello” …but when I realised I wasn’t going to get a reply (duh!) I closed my eyes and began to meditate again.

Next I heard what sounded like banging or some sort of noise on the landing. Now that isn’t so strange because as a sort of skeptic and someone who likes to think logically about things, I know that my landing makes weird noises because of the boiler in the attic (i know, that’s strange… but the councils decision) and pipes and things under the floorboards.

So in that case, if I knew this, what made me get up from my peaceful meditation and run to the door, fling it open and say “hello” again? I have no idea. It’s a very …interesting thing.

I haven’t meditated since, because I was told that the warm sensation on my ear could be something to do with being clairaudent so it’s important for me to know some sort of protection incase I get “good” at it and unknowingly call a mischievous spirit… or something.

I’m still being completely open and I’m not saying “oh, so I’m clairaudient then?” absolutely not! But there are questions left unanswered and I’m doing lots of research to find out!

I’m also trying to get in touch with that medium again, he says he does his work for free,  but I would really just like to sit down and have a chat with him, he may be able to help me on my path! So far, no luck, which is really disappointing!

…Three years later, I have slowed down with meditation and spirits. I wouldn’t say it was a phase as I am still very keen to believe there is something more to this life than what we can see with our own eyes. However I have calmed down about it all and I’ve started taking my time. I’ve learnt not to rush and to take things as steady as I can. It’s still hard to shut off during meditation, but I’ve always been quite the “tensed” type anyway. I rarely meditate, only if I feel I need to try and relax. The man I was talking about did get back into contact with me, I asked him if I could meet with him and he told me he goes to this christian/spiritual church on Sundays. I’ve not met with him.

It’s a shame because I could have more answers now, but I felt uncomfortable due to it being a religious spiritual place and I’m not all that religious. I’m in between. Sure having something higher would be fascinating, but I’m rational. I take things as I experience or understand it myself.

It was interesting looking back on my slightly younger self, to realise how far I’ve come in rational thinking and understanding of the world around me. Right now, I’m happy to go along the path I’m on – as I am –  and at the right time something or someone will come along and change things as I know it once again. I’ll be ready for it. 

It may not feel like it, but everything can change in just one year.

Where were you this time last year?

Are you where you wanted to be or thought you would be today?

Thanks for reading,

Until the next time ~

Picture found : – Kudos.


Stressed much?

Hey all,

Welcome to another blog post of “The Enlightenment Aspiration.” (Or ‘TEA’ for short – I love it. Not gonna deny it.)

Today I want to discuss stress. We all get stressed. Hormones such as cortisol attack our systems so heart rate goes up, as well as risk to high blood pressure… You cant concentrate, you start to get hot, you can also be prone to headaches and anger. Some of us are even stressed right now. Not all of us realise when we are stressed (believe it or not.) So I’m going to talk about some of the causes and symptoms of stress and ways you can deal with it.

Let’s begin:

What can cause stress? (In no particular order…)

  • Sense of control – do you feel in control of the situation?
  • Your own attitude – Have you got an “all or nothing” attitude? Or Is the world out to get you?
  • Negative thoughts/emotions  – ties into your own attitude.
  • Your ability to deal with and understand your own emotions.
  • The people around you – how supported do you feel?
  • Hormones – can be a real struggle to deal with and can make us feel stressed… ladies in particular.
  • Life changes (extreme) – loss of a loved one, moving away etc.
  • Work/School – an obvious one for most.
  • Relationships (all kinds)  – boyfriend/girlfriend, family, friends, colleagues etc.
  • Generally being busy – Being busy all day every day is tiring, which makes things harder to deal with.
  • Financial worries – money is an obvious stress trigger.
  • Depression – this causes a monumental amount of unwanted stress (not that stress is wanted…pft.)
  • Unrealistic expectations of yourself and those around you – “No one’s perfect but…”

So… What do I need to look out for?

  • Inability to concentrate
  • Short patience
  • Aches in muscles
  • Headaches
  • Chest pain
  • Frequent illnesses
  • Lethargic/Insomnia
  • Frustration
  • Upset and/or Moodiness
  • Avoidance of others
  • Feeling sick/loss of appetite
  • Eating more/comfort eating
  • Feeling bad about yourself (low confidence/self esteem)
  • Depression

What about how to deal with these types of emotions?

How to relax and de-stress yourself… (If only for a while…)

  • Set aside “me time.” Sure you have a lot to do, and nothing can wait and it’s all crazy right now… right? Wrong. Whether it’s just 30 minutes in a day, you can have your time. Take some well deserved “me time” back!
  • Relaxation methods – eh… this can help, if you are super keen in meditation and yoga. The problem is, when you’re quite stressed it’s hard to concentrate on your breathing and sitting still for ages. I’d personally take 10 deep breaths then lie down to watch a film! With icecream. Your choice. Or baths. Warm bubble baths help moods and also any aches and pains you might have from a long day.
  • Exercise – A simple jog ’round the block, or a stroll in a nice park on a lovely day can up your mood.
  • Sleep more – get your 8 hours of sleep. Or try to get as near that as possible. If you are finding it hard to sleep, I suggest getting some lavender fragrance spray that you can put on pillow cases. Should help you really well. If you don’t like lavender, go for one of your favourite fragrances I think other choices are lemon, mint etc. Or you can use a pot-pourri bowl and put it in the room.
  • Eat healthily  – over or under eating can cause discomfort in body, mind and soul. Try to eat what is suitable for you.
  • Music – I may be biased because I love music, but sometimes rocking out to my favourite rock albums or dancing to some country/rock music around my room makes me feel better. What about you?
  • Walk away from that argument you’re having – I mean don’t storm off. But inhale that deep breath, stop talking for a moment and take the time to calm down in another room before discussing things further. Sometimes it might help to go on a 10 minute walk before continuing. Just be open about it, don’t leave the other person guessing what you’re doing or why you suddenly walked away; it would just cause more stress.
  • They say, chewing gum is helpful… Eh.. .it’s not for me. But it might help you?
  • Turn your phone off… or just on silent – if it’s your phone thats stressing you out. Help yourself. Turn it off. Or has some person been bugging you for ages? Don’t reply. As tempting as it may be. You have a choice.
  • Art – believe it or not some people find it fun to de-stress by being creative. Make something fun with your hands like a card or painting. It doesn’t have to be amazing art work –  arts and crafts isn’t just for kids. I like to do some knitting sometimes, though if I’m really stressed I cant concentrate on it for too long.
  • Got clutter? – remove that clutter in your home. Recycle it, bin it, bag some of it up and give it to charity, I don’t mind. If you don’t really need it or use it, it can go. I find anyway that a good tidy up of my home and a bit of a rearrangement of furniture somehow rearranges my outlook and emotions in my mind.
  • Writing – Any writer would find writing relaxing (at the right time). I don’t believe it would work everytime… But sometimes getting engrossed into writing can set your mind onto other things which can help you feel less stressed. Or by writing you can write down your emotions and what’s going on and suddenly you have some control back and you can deal with it. You don’t necessarily even have to be a “writer” to write these things down.
  • Do something fun – ties in with “me time” but it doesn’t have to. Plan something to look forward to for the weekend or your next pay check. Going out for the day with friends, family or just by yourself can give you the motivation you may need to get through the week. When the weeks over you then get to de-stress with the fun thing you planned!

I hope some of these ideas have helped. You may have already had these ideas to begin with… But hey, the only person who can really know how to de-stress you, is you.  Don’t let stress win, our mission shall be to learn to be optimistic in our thinking and strive to be as laid-back as possible (without dire consequences). It’s time to help yourself.

Until the next time! – Picture found. Kudos.

Death and Loss: Say It’s Just A Story.



Well then…

Hello again…

It is said by countless of people that “too much thinking is bad for me.” This is fact. When people say this they do not simply mean “thinking in general” Oh no! They… We, mean negative thoughts that are clawing at our insides making us feel rotten to the absolute core, where thinking of “nothing” would be a blessing.

I’m an emotional worrier. I admit. I have reasons to worry… Though I’m not worried at the moment (breath of relief for a second) I’m upset. However I’ve not come on here to rant about how miserable my life is – not a chance in hell.

Reader, someone close to me died this day one year ago. Everyone at some point in their life loses someone they could be themselves with, close to, relied on, shared secrets with. This life is not eternal. You and I both know this.

I’ve tried not to think about it too much, but to no avail. I’ve kept myself busy today like most people do. To then come home and try to keep myself busy again. I’m currently in the middle of preparing for an interview for Friday. (Go me!) But as I stared at my laptop I’ve realised as I’m writing this, that I have just completely discarded what I was doing and jumped on here to type about it all. Which reminds me, I shouldn’t leave people waiting. People rely on me too.


Anyway, now that’s done… I will sit on my floor and continue. Don’t ask me why the floor… It’s the closest “seat” possible… well actually that’s a lie, my bed is …right next to me…Pfft. I’m comfortable. ….Anyway…

Now I don’t want you to get too emotionally involved into this post yet because when I tell you who I’ve lost, people have a varied responses to this…

We grew up together. We were very close her and me. Couldn’t have asked for a better family member or friend. She, was indeed, my cat. Don’t freak out.

If you are an animal lover and welcome animals into your home or go to animal shelters, or just love animals in general. You will understand where I am coming from. Some people get it, some people just don’t. My friend used to wait for me to get home everyday and greet me, with a meow and purr… Would sit on my stomach (sometimes my head) and watch things like Anime or films with me (I have proof). Little things, that brought us close, that made her one of the family.

When I was little around six or so, I wanted a cat so badly. I can’t remember the reason why I just know it started when mum said we had to get rid of our first dog Max. In all fairness he nearly took my eye out when he bit me. But we kept him because no one would have him. (Poor reasoning, is poor) However he calmed down and later suffered from a twisted stomach and died…. I don’t really remember him much… Apart from when I took the bus to school he’d look out the window and see me off. He was in pain, we didn’t know.

Back to the point, I cried for this cat – even at the very beginning. I just wanted one. As children want things all the time. Mum spoke to our next door neighbour as they were getting a kitten. We didn’t have any money really to fork out for an expensive cat. Though we did have enough for her. I believe she was free. She was the little runt of the litter. A couple years ago I found out that she would’ve been killed if we hadn’t taken her in. I’d never been so relieved that I had cried for a cat and mother said yes.

She was the cutest tiniest bundle of fluff ever. I called her “Dizzy.” The bond was made then and there when I got to name her myself. …. She pee’d under my bed. Not cool. Though I’d like to think she was just marking her territory haha!

She never got on with dogs so she lived upstairs and after being house trained and grew up a bit, had full reign over the garden. She never went too far, my Diz, she was definitely into being a house cat and being pampered and a bit of a Queen.  She’d prefer that, rather than being outside socialising with other cats. She was small, so I can understand. She was feisty though… I bet she could win a scrap.

So, as the years went on and we got older. She got a bit more mellow. She was never much of a people cat when she was little. Later she would curl up more beside me and if I was laying down on my side she would lay down with me, sometimes balancing on my hip. Weird, but I’m sure she was comfortable. She would always be around if I was ever ill (and I was ill a lot) staying close by me. We were very close, and there never seemed to be a point where I thought she would be gone. But that’s how it is usually isn’t it? Even now, sometimes I wake up thinking she’ll just be there. Waiting for me.

She ran away, a couple months before in the summer. I thought she had gone to leave for good. As cats do. I ran around the neighbourhood countless of times. When I woke up the morning she had gone, I had a bad feeling because she wasn’t in her usual places. I got dressed and just ran. Ran and ran. I came home for something to eat and a rest and started again. I couldn’t let her go. Everyday I was widening my search. I guess it could have gone on forever.

A few days later, in the night she returned, tired and hungry. She was okay, or so we thought. She was eating well, getting fat. Happy. Contented.

Though a few months after she began to stop eating so much. She had always been good at eating and drinking when she was hungry or thirsty and knew exactly how to ask.

We tried all sorts of different foods. Last year on the Friday whilst Children in Need was on in the background, we just stared at each other. And I just knew. I can’t explain it exactly. She seemed to have tears in her eyes and I just remember thinking “Diz is going to be gone from me soon.” I cried.

This strangely isn’t the first time this sort of premonition has happened to me. It happened the day my nan died too. We shared a close bond as well and I just had this thought of “I’m not going to see her again.” … After just being told she had gone into hospital but not to worry because everything was fine. This wasn’t a lie. They really thought it was the case. She had been rushed into hospital before and everything turned out just fine. I just knew otherwise. It’s kind of depressing really.  The morning everything was told to me I still experienced shock. Enough shock to wander into college only to be sent home because I was just a mess.

More to the point… The day My Diz died was 17th November 2013 it was on the Sunday. On the Saturday beforehand I remember coming down the stairs and telling her I’d be back soon. I went out to town to get her some fresh meat to eat. To see if it would work. Last hope, deal. I came back and she was gone. Again. I tore open the door and ran down the street. She came out of the last house of my street and meowed. A wave of relief washed over me as I bent down and she climbed up into my arms. I was not going to leave her again today.

That Saturday was rough. I didn’t move from her and mother sent me up food realising the situation and being understanding. She hardly ate the meat I offered her. It was even Chicken. Her favourite. Well that and Tuna. I stayed up for hours and hours. Hoping that Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes would keep me awake. It did. I stayed awake until 4am. She went downhill quickly that night. Me and mum had discussed taking her to the vets the next morning if she got worse. I couldn’t have her in pain. Though for the most part she seemed happy next to me and wouldn’t move.

By this time we had gotten her a litter tray because she had been having accidents. She was a very proud cat so this must not have been nice for her. But she managed the litter tray well. I have knowledge on what happens when cats are about to pass on. So I put her on a towel incase she had an accident. She did. A few times. And every time I got up. Got her clean, washed her off with a damp cloth. By the end she couldn’t stand so I made sure she was comfortable all the while. The last time I got her clean, I was coming back with some fresh towels with her in my arms and I had moved her so her head was near my shoulders and honest truth, she wrapped her front paws around my neck. Gratitude?

Even now as I type this I have tears in my eyes at the moments we shared together. I put her down on one of my pillows with the towels underneath. I made absolutely sure they were soft so she would be comfortable. Back then I also had a single bed, so I put her closest to the wall so she wouldn’t fall. I wrapped a blanket over her for warmth and we slept for the last time together, for only a couple hours. Side by side.

Around 7am that morning she passed away.

She died in my arms.

…Reader, If you have lost someone close to your heart, It doesn’t matter who it is. If they meant the world to you, cherish their memory forever. Let them go when you are ready. But keep their memory close to your heart eternally.

Everything happens for a reason. Let their passing be a lesson in your life. Of moments shared, happiness, giving, receiving and love. Don’t seal away your heart, they wouldn’t want that of you. It’s never nice to see that the person or pet you loved has gone, no matter what version of love it was. It’s okay, if you want to cry. It hurts. Don’t be afraid, keep pushing forward. Never forget.

Thank you for reading.

Until the next time.