Let’s have a catch up!

Hello friends,

In my last post – quite a while ago now! – I recall simply ranting about rubbish accommodation when private renting. Needless to say, at this point it was hard to keep my cool! I’d like to announce though that the carpet it sorted. Cheaply. But sorted. That’s the main thing -right? And cleaning a three bed house has become much easier!

Moving out for the first time is all a bit of a learning curve.

Even if you are moving out with someone or going off to university accommodation, you are still transitioning from one home to another. For a while you may even be reluctant to call your new place “home.” Everyone deals with moving out differently. It’s okay to not be okay for a while.  Even though it’s a good thing to leave the nest, it takes some getting used to!

It’s almost a year now since I left. With another move around the corner I’m quite apprehensive about what’s in store for the next year ahead!

I can honestly say I feel a lot older for it.

Wiser? I’m not so sure! I know I have more to learn. But that’s a good thing.

I’ve been through quite a lot emotionally and mentally in my house. It’s been a bit of a wild ride and I feel I’m only just coming out of the woods now and feeling more like myself again.

To have people come into our house and not feel comfortable spiritually is saddening. There seems to be quite a disturbance here. Then to have an inspector come over checking if we have everything and what’s wrong with the place for her to turn to us and say:

“You should never have been allowed to live in this house.”

Yeah. Scary stuff, huh?

This has helped us look out for certain …legal… things in the future.

But we are the lucky ones. We can afford to save and leave next year. Sure we have to save hard, but we CAN save.

There are a lot of people who are in similar situations who cannot save the money to leave. Who are trapped, isolated and no one is helping them. It’s a losing battle. Landlords are taking liberties because they don’t have to care until it gets so bad the environmental control get involved and they have no choice. This isn’t the way it is meant to be. It’s appalling people are being treated this way.

I count my blessings that I am in a better situation. My eyes have opened, once again I am taught “it could be worse” and “make the best of the situation.” Two things that some may say; you shouldn’t have to feel that way. And no, no I shouldn’t. But it’s about seeing the end of the chapter. Knowing it’s not forever and that it will get better.

I’m not about to give up. Are you?


Until the next time.



Picture found: http://bernardsestates.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/house-landlords-pic.jpg  – Credit goes to original photographer.





Social Anxeity; Pushing Through Life in the Best Way

Hello reader,

I don’t know about you, but there are times when I feel completely alone. To face things alone is daunting. However to realise there are people around to help me, is like reaching out into the darkness and suddenly a bright warm light is raining down; making me feel safe and secure again.

I met with a friend of mine a little while ago. I had been feeling pretty low because strange things had been happening to me and it had been chipping away at my strength each (long) day. I had explained things that were happening and she did what any good friend would do – gave advice. After all these years (after school) I’m not used to being the one receiving advice. Usually it’s the other way around. However I accepted her advice and since then things have been picking up.

It goes to show, acceptance to change positively goes a long way for the mind and soul.  

I won’t go into details about what was happening at home, because I’m not even sure if I believe it myself. All I know is that is was effecting my mood, behaviour and general energy. It was unpleasant but I feel I have managed to suppress and/or get rid of whatever was wrong.

It took me years to be comfortable reaching out to people properly, and I think there will still be a part of me that will always hold back. I find it hard to trust people and I get nervous in big social gatherings. Or even just meeting up with a friend after a really long time. It always crosses my mind to make an excuse not to go or to think of a way out or only stay for a certain amount of time and then make some sort of excuse to leave. So to have people genuinely concerned about me and caring for me is a little strange still because of my lack of trust… but I try not to let it stop me meeting with friends and having a good time. I’ve especially been working on my trust, because I know that not everyone is out for themselves and that there are real, good and honest people out there like myself with no ulterior motives. Those are the people to trust.

Let me be clear, It’s never about the people I’m going to spend my time with. My close ones are the right people, they are all awesome, honest people. I’m lucky to be surrounded by so many good people. It’s all on me. I get social anxiety. People don’t tend to realise this about me, because I try to never let it show. However the traits I get is going quiet and reserved. If you are like me, all I can say is try to keep pushing forward, and don’t let your anxiety get the better of you. Even if you are worried, you could be surprised and warmed by the feeling that you made the right decision to go out and enjoy your life.

I don’t feel I have social anxiety to an extent that some people may have it. I don’t claim that it’s easy to just get up and go out with a large group of people or even just one or two people if you suffer with it. Everyone has good days and bad days. Everyone feels and reacts to things differently (even just slightly) It’s how you deal and manage them – is what counts.

I like to remind myself of these things before going out sometimes on a “bad day” because on the day I met up with my friend it gave me courage to push through life in the best way possible. I was able to gain advice and become stronger from it. It was a gentle hug in the right direction and I’m so pleased I went. I was worried because we hadn’t seen each other in so long that it could be awkward. In the end, we actually spoke about it. I was being open and honest about it all and it turned out we felt the same! I was a little relieved and it made me feel much more comfortable to have that finally out in the open.

*Takes a deep breath*

So… What I wanted to tell you was, once again I am pleasantly surprised by the power friendship and impact people can have in our lives. I wanted to tell you that when things seem the darkest; that’s the perfect time to reach out to someone close, who you know will understand you. I wanted to tell you that, you are never alone. No one is ever alone. You may have to fight for it or you may need to take that first step to reach out for it. Still, you are never facing this world on your own if you don’t want to be.

If you are facing this, I implore you to be open and honest with your close ones. The people that will help you and understand that you might be finding things a little difficult right now.

Who knows, you might come away feeling a little bit stronger, a little less afraid and a lot more happier for letting your thoughts and emotions out.

Good luck.

Until the next time…

Picture found – https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B8eO5dTIcAA0rgi.png (lovely picture, kudos to artist and quote)

Stressed much?

Hey all,

Welcome to another blog post of “The Enlightenment Aspiration.” (Or ‘TEA’ for short – I love it. Not gonna deny it.)

Today I want to discuss stress. We all get stressed. Hormones such as cortisol attack our systems so heart rate goes up, as well as risk to high blood pressure… You cant concentrate, you start to get hot, you can also be prone to headaches and anger. Some of us are even stressed right now. Not all of us realise when we are stressed (believe it or not.) So I’m going to talk about some of the causes and symptoms of stress and ways you can deal with it.

Let’s begin:

What can cause stress? (In no particular order…)

  • Sense of control – do you feel in control of the situation?
  • Your own attitude – Have you got an “all or nothing” attitude? Or Is the world out to get you?
  • Negative thoughts/emotions  – ties into your own attitude.
  • Your ability to deal with and understand your own emotions.
  • The people around you – how supported do you feel?
  • Hormones – can be a real struggle to deal with and can make us feel stressed… ladies in particular.
  • Life changes (extreme) – loss of a loved one, moving away etc.
  • Work/School – an obvious one for most.
  • Relationships (all kinds)  – boyfriend/girlfriend, family, friends, colleagues etc.
  • Generally being busy – Being busy all day every day is tiring, which makes things harder to deal with.
  • Financial worries – money is an obvious stress trigger.
  • Depression – this causes a monumental amount of unwanted stress (not that stress is wanted…pft.)
  • Unrealistic expectations of yourself and those around you – “No one’s perfect but…”

So… What do I need to look out for?

  • Inability to concentrate
  • Short patience
  • Aches in muscles
  • Headaches
  • Chest pain
  • Frequent illnesses
  • Lethargic/Insomnia
  • Frustration
  • Upset and/or Moodiness
  • Avoidance of others
  • Feeling sick/loss of appetite
  • Eating more/comfort eating
  • Feeling bad about yourself (low confidence/self esteem)
  • Depression

What about how to deal with these types of emotions?

How to relax and de-stress yourself… (If only for a while…)

  • Set aside “me time.” Sure you have a lot to do, and nothing can wait and it’s all crazy right now… right? Wrong. Whether it’s just 30 minutes in a day, you can have your time. Take some well deserved “me time” back!
  • Relaxation methods – eh… this can help, if you are super keen in meditation and yoga. The problem is, when you’re quite stressed it’s hard to concentrate on your breathing and sitting still for ages. I’d personally take 10 deep breaths then lie down to watch a film! With icecream. Your choice. Or baths. Warm bubble baths help moods and also any aches and pains you might have from a long day.
  • Exercise – A simple jog ’round the block, or a stroll in a nice park on a lovely day can up your mood.
  • Sleep more – get your 8 hours of sleep. Or try to get as near that as possible. If you are finding it hard to sleep, I suggest getting some lavender fragrance spray that you can put on pillow cases. Should help you really well. If you don’t like lavender, go for one of your favourite fragrances I think other choices are lemon, mint etc. Or you can use a pot-pourri bowl and put it in the room.
  • Eat healthily  – over or under eating can cause discomfort in body, mind and soul. Try to eat what is suitable for you.
  • Music – I may be biased because I love music, but sometimes rocking out to my favourite rock albums or dancing to some country/rock music around my room makes me feel better. What about you?
  • Walk away from that argument you’re having – I mean don’t storm off. But inhale that deep breath, stop talking for a moment and take the time to calm down in another room before discussing things further. Sometimes it might help to go on a 10 minute walk before continuing. Just be open about it, don’t leave the other person guessing what you’re doing or why you suddenly walked away; it would just cause more stress.
  • They say, chewing gum is helpful… Eh.. .it’s not for me. But it might help you?
  • Turn your phone off… or just on silent – if it’s your phone thats stressing you out. Help yourself. Turn it off. Or has some person been bugging you for ages? Don’t reply. As tempting as it may be. You have a choice.
  • Art – believe it or not some people find it fun to de-stress by being creative. Make something fun with your hands like a card or painting. It doesn’t have to be amazing art work –  arts and crafts isn’t just for kids. I like to do some knitting sometimes, though if I’m really stressed I cant concentrate on it for too long.
  • Got clutter? – remove that clutter in your home. Recycle it, bin it, bag some of it up and give it to charity, I don’t mind. If you don’t really need it or use it, it can go. I find anyway that a good tidy up of my home and a bit of a rearrangement of furniture somehow rearranges my outlook and emotions in my mind.
  • Writing – Any writer would find writing relaxing (at the right time). I don’t believe it would work everytime… But sometimes getting engrossed into writing can set your mind onto other things which can help you feel less stressed. Or by writing you can write down your emotions and what’s going on and suddenly you have some control back and you can deal with it. You don’t necessarily even have to be a “writer” to write these things down.
  • Do something fun – ties in with “me time” but it doesn’t have to. Plan something to look forward to for the weekend or your next pay check. Going out for the day with friends, family or just by yourself can give you the motivation you may need to get through the week. When the weeks over you then get to de-stress with the fun thing you planned!

I hope some of these ideas have helped. You may have already had these ideas to begin with… But hey, the only person who can really know how to de-stress you, is you.  Don’t let stress win, our mission shall be to learn to be optimistic in our thinking and strive to be as laid-back as possible (without dire consequences). It’s time to help yourself.

Until the next time!

http://cdn2.dailyburn.com/life/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Stressful-Scenarios_2.jpg – Picture found. Kudos.