Hello all!

I went to Crete in Greece.

For a week.

Thought i’d just dive right in there with that one haha.  The picture was from my balcony. 😀 Just, awesome.

It was my first ever abroad holiday! I had a lot of firsts this past week while on holiday too. Let’s see…. I had my first spa experience. Which was a little bit cringy to start with… I had my first flight experience, my belly flipped on the way there, so bad… so bad. My first water park experience that was cool! And my first ever 40 degrees experience – I’ve discovered the heat makes me more tired.

Anyway, I wanted to just have a quick update about what I’ve been up to and this post will be about my spa experience.

It all began by the pool with my friends on holiday, a kind lady came up and asked about whether we would like to try a sample of her products from her spa menu. We ageed and decided it would be fun. We sat there for a good half hour trying these products. She was very nice and her English was spot on. We all could communicate well with her, which helps haha. We agreed we would go for a treatment and she gave us a really good deal for 2 treatments each. We booked in when we wanted to go, we all decided on a facial and a body scrub. Me being me, was awkward, and chose a different facial to everyone else so I had to have a specific time, so that they could prepare for me. Typical me. 

Day of the Spa treatment

You are probably thinking, oh this is boring, it’s just normal and not cringy at all.

Bear with me.

The day of the treatment I had been talking to my friends about it and they were concerned about undressing. I had reassured them that when I asked the spa manager she told me it was okay to keep our bathing suits on, so our bikinis would be fine. With this knowledge I was at ease going in. As I’m not the type to just whip of my clothes in front of strangers – ahem –

So, me and a friend went in together but we were in seperate rooms (they only had 2 rooms available at one time). I waddled into one, she the other, and it was fine. Until it wasn’t.

The masseuse, lady, person… you can tell this was my first spa treatment already. Is it okay for me to call her a masseuse… that’s what she is right? Right!? *inward panic*

Er, anyway, she handed me a one use thong, thingy, and if you can, imagine me standing there staring at her blankly, holding this thin piece of cloth between my thumb and index finger. Thinking “what the…?!”

Let me also point out, her English was not as good as the managers.

*Picture this* You’ve got me looking at her and her looking at me. And then, she just walks out the room for me to get changed. I stand there just staring at the cloth and look around the room thinking, do I just do it? Shall I wear it and just be uncomfortable for the treatments? Or am i meant to put this on over my bikini bottoms? Wait! Wait, that’s just silly, don’t do that…. and so on and so on. Until she comes back and literally says –

“No, no get changed.” and points to the meterial in my hands.

I respond with, “Sorry but the lady said I could wear this?” And I point to my bikini top and bottoms.

She replies with “Yes, but this!” and points to the cloth item again, and leaves the room.

By this point, I am utterly confused. What on Earth does she want me to do? I’ve just told her I was allowed to wear my bikini and she just agreed but still wants me to put this on?!


I can feel myself getting a bit uncomfortable by this point as I slowly bend down to put the material over my bikini bottoms.

This isn’t… right.

I frown about to take the thong piece off, when the masseuse suddenly comes in again.

“Ah, ummm, is this… is this right?” I point, nervously feeling very silly at this point.

“No!” She exclaims, “need this off, this on” various pointing motions and she is about to leave again.

I hurriedly take the thong off leaving my bikini bottoms still in place.

“But I was meant to keep this on, I was told I was allowed to.” I feel my face flush.

“Okay you can, come on” She says, almost sighing.

I don’t know if it was me, but her tone felt like one of annoyance. I was embarrased and nervous. So I just told her “If you need to, you can take the back off, when i’m lying down” I point to my back straps.

“Okay” She replies, “Lie – down” I follow her instructions.

I felt really awkward during the body scrub. It was hard for me to relax. I felt I had offended her, which is probably really british of me. But I couldn’t help it. I would’ve thought the manager would have let her assistants know…. As I lay down she took the straps off a bit forcefully, and I couldn’t help but make a face. Luckily my head was facing down through the hole so she couldn’t see me.

I laid there for a good 30 – 40 minutes unable to move, being increasingly uncomfortable whilst also trying to relax. Ugh. Going over all the questions and what just happened in my head. One question I had was “Should I make conversation?!” Now I don’t know about you, but if you’ve not been in this situation before it’s kinda hard to work out what would be socially acceptable… I decided to use the logic of, ‘I think it’s like the hairdressers but a bit more strict – don’t try to make conversation unless they do.’ I went with that and it seemed okay.

Turns out I was just over thinking again! Staying quiet is good. Noted.

After the body scrub, she said she was done and I got up a bit too quickly as I emerged from my thoughts and anxiety and said “alright?!” But what actually came out was “orrrightt?!” … I went momentarily very ‘Somerset’  (umm think farmer voice if you aren’t sure what I mean). I cursed inwardly at being abrupt with my response, however this seemed to have broken some tension as she giggled and said I can go for my shower now.


She told me not to get my bikini wet and to put it up on the side, I told her I could do that bit at least. And she laughed. I don’t mind if she was laughing at me, I was just relieved to break the tension properly.

After I got out of the shower it was time for the face mask treatment. It was a lot nicer, and I felt a lot more relaxed and a bit sleepy by the time she finished.

The treatments on the whole were lovely, and I’m sure i’m not the first to make a silly mistake like that. Regarding the fact it was my first spa treatment and language barriers can make things a bit tougher.

I think i’d have a face treatment again, but i’d probably pass on the body scrub. Even if it did make me all soft and smoove… I don’t think I could go through that again, ha!

Later that day….

I heard that my friends went through very similar, quite awkward, experiences too. Some chose to go along with it, others felt really awkward and tried to negotiate items of clothing that could stay on. I was the only one to say “no” completely. Ooops. Oh well! At least it wasn’t just me with the awkward experience! I can always count on my friends to be just as awkward lol! ❤


Until the next time ~  








Lack of Control in Life: Getting Mad and Letting Go

One month.

That’s all it was. (Well… One month, a summer holiday and about a week later…)

When I look back on it, it felt so much longer. I guess depression does that to a person.

It was June 23rd 2014. I finally started working somewhere I thought was a match made in heaven. Little did I realise, it was soon not to be the case.

It doesn’t bother me that they lied to my face, because I knew they were lying as soon as they opened their mouths. No, it bothers me, that they didn’t try harder. Try harder to talk to me properly, instead of taking their problems out on me.

Maybe I’m old fashioned but I go to work, to work. I work with children because I enjoy it. I love to teach children new things and sometimes learn things together. So no, it doesn’t bother me that they said “I didn’t fit in.” It bothers me that they told me I wasn’t bonding properly (whatever they saw fit in their eyes – yeah, I have no idea either) with the children.

I could list many ways on how I bonded with the children, for instance talking, singing, reading, listening and most importantly engaging/taking an interest. But this list is mainly for your benefit, so you get an idea of how I am with children.

On the whole I believe It would’ve helped tremendously if they had given me my key children… From the very beginning it felt like they didn’t want me there. I had no key to get in, no uniform, no CRB/DBS check, no key children. Nothing to properly define my place there. Lack of security.

I was never going to write about this on here. However the truth has come to light today and it brought it all up again. Even this “truth” feels like a “half-truth.” I can’t help this feeling that maybe I should have shaken my doubts and just tried harder myself. But there’s only so much you can do when you get the vibe that you aren’t really wanted or needed in the room. Which comes to another interesting fact that they denied being over staffed on some of the days…Sigh

I’m struggling hard not to be bitter about it all. I know I need to let it go, because I’m starting a new job in a few days (by the way if you have read my earlier post – my sleeping is going well, just gotta make sure I get to sleep earlier too!) and I just don’t want to drag that baggage with me.

A lot happened in a month. Over the summer I felt it wasn’t right and started looking for other work, I just didn’t realise how quickly they were going to let me go. I chuckled a bit when I was told “This isn’t working out…” I thought “Ya, think so?” It’s hard when things start off nice and it turns out to be a façade…

Also people don’t always make it clear what they expect of you, and quite frankly it pisses me right off.

I did my job. I stand by, what I expected of them – never happened (too much gossip and tea drinking for my liking) and what they expected of me – didn’t happen. I despise the fact that in a space of a week they thought I’d be really “clicky” with them (they are quite the clique) when I said in the interview, “It does take me a little while to tell people a lot about myself” – I’m guarded, get over it. But I wasn’t “off” with them either and did try to tell them about me, more so if they asked.

They were all quite older than I was. People think that’s a factor too. It probably was, but at the same time I know people who are a lot older than me and we get on great. I think it’s a personality clash myself. In light of this they also warned me that “We are a clique and find it hard to let other people mix” – or words to that effect. If I can try, they should have been adult enough to try too since they knew their own problems. Isn’t it half the battle? If you say to someone you recognise the problem, you should try to take the next step like I did, instead of “here’s the facts, yeah, we aren’t changing.” – wouldn’t Ofsted be pleased with that result?!

Fake, is a word I would use for them. I would say other things but I cannot, for I fear I would regret my words in the morning. Rage aside, at least I know what to look out for and what to avoid in the future.

Despite this though, we may have just crossed some serious wires. Who knows? The communication itself wasn’t great anyway. Something everyone should learn in life: not everyone will like you. In the end, we just weren’t meant to be.

Lessons to be learned and all that.

I feel a lot better after writing this all down. I feel I can make peace with it now.

Is there anything you’d like to make peace with? Trust me, you’ll feel better once you just let it go…

As always thank you for reading my rambles.

Until the next time.

Picture found: (Whoever did this is awesome)