Ramblin’ Girl

Hello reader,

I went to college the other day. Yup. I went in search for something that would ignite some reaction, some interest in me. What did I receive?


There was this one thing, but … no.
And that other thing… But actually…
And then there wa– nah, probably not my thing.


I’m not trying to be negative about everything but it’s hard not to, especially when you are laughed at when trying to explain “Yeah I’m thinking about this course because…” Well, thanks for nothing.

Needless to say, I was very down last night. I see people being so passionate about things they are good at. But when I try and write down or say what I’m good at, I just draw a blank all the time. Don’t get me wrong. I love people expressing their own passions. I just find it difficult to, personally.

I don’t know what I want anymore. I found myself thinking “Maybe I’m just not destined for anything.” A lot.

It sounds quite melodramatic. Now that I’ve had some sleep. Haha
The thought was just so loud at the time. I just wanted the world to stop and leave me alone.

It would be so nice to just figure out exactly what it is I am good at. And try and focus my energy into it. My partner says I’m good at lots of things all at once that it’s hard to pin point one strength above all the others. I think he was just trying to make me feel better.

It didn’t work.
But it’s the thought that counts.

I’m okay at a lot of things. I’m average. I’m basically average on most subjects. I don’t have anything that I spring to that’s like “YES! That one! That’s MY thing!”

I like a lot of things. But the things I like doing wont pay the bills!

Sorry for my ramblings today. I’m just a bit muddled at the moment.

Thing is, my job isn’t any better. And the outlook for other jobs that will pay for my expenses are few and far between so I haven’t managed to leave. And I’ve not been sleeping very well, so with all that in mind… I’m feeling a bit adrift at the moment.

I need to find something I can do. Do I just look for a similar role that i’m doing now? Do I try to find something at college to help with the admin and pursue it head-on? Or do I look for something new? Or Old? Maybe I should go back to Childcare… No.. I don’t want that. I love working with the kids. But I can’t stand the staff most of the time. Unless It’s a school. But then the contracts are always so dreadful. ….


I know i’ll figure it out. But the answer eludes me at the moment.

Here’s to trying to figure shit out!

Hope you have a great day!

Until the next time~


Stressed much?

Hey all,

Welcome to another blog post of “The Enlightenment Aspiration.” (Or ‘TEA’ for short – I love it. Not gonna deny it.)

Today I want to discuss stress. We all get stressed. Hormones such as cortisol attack our systems so heart rate goes up, as well as risk to high blood pressure… You cant concentrate, you start to get hot, you can also be prone to headaches and anger. Some of us are even stressed right now. Not all of us realise when we are stressed (believe it or not.) So I’m going to talk about some of the causes and symptoms of stress and ways you can deal with it.

Let’s begin:

What can cause stress? (In no particular order…)

  • Sense of control – do you feel in control of the situation?
  • Your own attitude – Have you got an “all or nothing” attitude? Or Is the world out to get you?
  • Negative thoughts/emotions  – ties into your own attitude.
  • Your ability to deal with and understand your own emotions.
  • The people around you – how supported do you feel?
  • Hormones – can be a real struggle to deal with and can make us feel stressed… ladies in particular.
  • Life changes (extreme) – loss of a loved one, moving away etc.
  • Work/School – an obvious one for most.
  • Relationships (all kinds)  – boyfriend/girlfriend, family, friends, colleagues etc.
  • Generally being busy – Being busy all day every day is tiring, which makes things harder to deal with.
  • Financial worries – money is an obvious stress trigger.
  • Depression – this causes a monumental amount of unwanted stress (not that stress is wanted…pft.)
  • Unrealistic expectations of yourself and those around you – “No one’s perfect but…”

So… What do I need to look out for?

  • Inability to concentrate
  • Short patience
  • Aches in muscles
  • Headaches
  • Chest pain
  • Frequent illnesses
  • Lethargic/Insomnia
  • Frustration
  • Upset and/or Moodiness
  • Avoidance of others
  • Feeling sick/loss of appetite
  • Eating more/comfort eating
  • Feeling bad about yourself (low confidence/self esteem)
  • Depression

What about how to deal with these types of emotions?

How to relax and de-stress yourself… (If only for a while…)

  • Set aside “me time.” Sure you have a lot to do, and nothing can wait and it’s all crazy right now… right? Wrong. Whether it’s just 30 minutes in a day, you can have your time. Take some well deserved “me time” back!
  • Relaxation methods – eh… this can help, if you are super keen in meditation and yoga. The problem is, when you’re quite stressed it’s hard to concentrate on your breathing and sitting still for ages. I’d personally take 10 deep breaths then lie down to watch a film! With icecream. Your choice. Or baths. Warm bubble baths help moods and also any aches and pains you might have from a long day.
  • Exercise – A simple jog ’round the block, or a stroll in a nice park on a lovely day can up your mood.
  • Sleep more – get your 8 hours of sleep. Or try to get as near that as possible. If you are finding it hard to sleep, I suggest getting some lavender fragrance spray that you can put on pillow cases. Should help you really well. If you don’t like lavender, go for one of your favourite fragrances I think other choices are lemon, mint etc. Or you can use a pot-pourri bowl and put it in the room.
  • Eat healthily  – over or under eating can cause discomfort in body, mind and soul. Try to eat what is suitable for you.
  • Music – I may be biased because I love music, but sometimes rocking out to my favourite rock albums or dancing to some country/rock music around my room makes me feel better. What about you?
  • Walk away from that argument you’re having – I mean don’t storm off. But inhale that deep breath, stop talking for a moment and take the time to calm down in another room before discussing things further. Sometimes it might help to go on a 10 minute walk before continuing. Just be open about it, don’t leave the other person guessing what you’re doing or why you suddenly walked away; it would just cause more stress.
  • They say, chewing gum is helpful… Eh.. .it’s not for me. But it might help you?
  • Turn your phone off… or just on silent – if it’s your phone thats stressing you out. Help yourself. Turn it off. Or has some person been bugging you for ages? Don’t reply. As tempting as it may be. You have a choice.
  • Art – believe it or not some people find it fun to de-stress by being creative. Make something fun with your hands like a card or painting. It doesn’t have to be amazing art work –  arts and crafts isn’t just for kids. I like to do some knitting sometimes, though if I’m really stressed I cant concentrate on it for too long.
  • Got clutter? – remove that clutter in your home. Recycle it, bin it, bag some of it up and give it to charity, I don’t mind. If you don’t really need it or use it, it can go. I find anyway that a good tidy up of my home and a bit of a rearrangement of furniture somehow rearranges my outlook and emotions in my mind.
  • Writing – Any writer would find writing relaxing (at the right time). I don’t believe it would work everytime… But sometimes getting engrossed into writing can set your mind onto other things which can help you feel less stressed. Or by writing you can write down your emotions and what’s going on and suddenly you have some control back and you can deal with it. You don’t necessarily even have to be a “writer” to write these things down.
  • Do something fun – ties in with “me time” but it doesn’t have to. Plan something to look forward to for the weekend or your next pay check. Going out for the day with friends, family or just by yourself can give you the motivation you may need to get through the week. When the weeks over you then get to de-stress with the fun thing you planned!

I hope some of these ideas have helped. You may have already had these ideas to begin with… But hey, the only person who can really know how to de-stress you, is you.  Don’t let stress win, our mission shall be to learn to be optimistic in our thinking and strive to be as laid-back as possible (without dire consequences). It’s time to help yourself.

Until the next time!

http://cdn2.dailyburn.com/life/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Stressful-Scenarios_2.jpg – Picture found. Kudos.

To expect the unexpected…

Hello reader,

I’m a worrier. The kind of worrier that when the outcome isn’t as bad as I feared – I am actually surprised.

Why? Because for a few years now, I’ve usually been correct with how the consequences to events will pan out. I mean it doesn’t take many brain cells to figure out if something will have a good or bad consequence. I guess you could call it schemas. For instance, something negative has happened after an event which, when the same event occurs I feel a negative consequence is coming my way.

…Let me explain, a few days ago I had to be somewhere (in work) but got held up by a number of things. (The day wasn’t going my way to begin with and it was just getting worse anyway…) So when I rushed over to where I was supposed to be and got myself worked up, spewed out apologies and explanations I was taken back by the response of “no need to worry, it’s all fine, you’re here now.” – I must’ve stood there and blinked about five times before I hastily said a “thank you.” And got back to work.

The reason for my worry is that if this had happened in another work place I’ve been in, I whole heartedly believe this wouldn’t have been the response I received; this is because it just wouldn’t have been. In similar events I have been made to “have a chat” with a senior member of staff and also given the “cold shoulder” after trying to explain. I feel incredibly lucky and happy to know that I am in a place that accepts that things like this happens sometimes – with good reason.

I don’t think I’ll stop worrying about things like this any time soon…It’s difficult to forget the past and events, especially when it makes you feel like you’re treading on eggshells. But at least I know now that I have no need to keep expecting the worst and that I am being treated like an equal in my new place of work. Just as it should be.

As always thanks for reading, feel free to leave a comment

Until the next time~